Looking Back in Time
by Sal2
Summary: A "lost scene" from "Old Ares Had a Farm". Xena and Ares reflect on their past with a warm fire side chat.


Disclaimer: I don't own any of the characters. They belong to the show's creators, so don't sue me--I don't have any money anyway.

Violence/Sex/Language: None--amazing for a Xena story/ nope not at all/ English--lol, I had to do that one. Nothing worse than the show.

Summary: I've always wondered what Xena and Ares would have talked about if they actually had time to have a decent conversation in OAHAF. So this is something I put together. Consider it a lost scene from OAHAF.

Writer's Note: During the conversation, it makes references to events that take place in my other FF: WHEN A STAR FALLS and it's sequel/conclusion story, EQUIVOCATION. So I suggest you read those first because or else, a big part of this story won't make much sense.

LOOKING BACK IN TIME

By Sally

Ares was sitting on a rocking chair by the fire-place. He stared into the fire as many thoughts crossed his mind. He now had a new life. It was quite different from the life he had gotten used to over the thousands of years he lived. Now, he was mortal, and he couldn't have everything he wanted with the snap of his fingers. 'Wait', he whispered to himself. 'At least, one thing hasn't changed. I still can't have the woman I love.' He sighed, and continued to ponder his thoughts until he was interrupted. "Having trouble sleeping?" Ares was pulled out of his thoughts, and he looked up to see Xena standing there with a warm glow. She looked beautiful even in an old skimpy dress. 'Of course, when has she ever not?'

"After what happened.......yeah." Xena chuckled at his response.

"Oh.......is the Ex-God of War so traumatized by a little 'accident'?"

"Easy for you to say. Does Gabrielle always have problems with her hands? Or is it just me?"

"Ask Gabrielle that."

"Yeah and maybe she'll learn to keep her hands to herself." Xena smiled and grabbed another chair to join him by the fire.

"So why are you really up?" Ares raised an eyebrow at her question.

"What do you mean 'Why'? I just told you." Xena got a little more serious and added.

"Ares, I know there was more on your mind than what happened back in the bed room. What's bothering you?" Ares' smile faded, and he turned his face to stare into the fire once again.

"To tell you the truth, I don't really know." Xena looked down at her hands, and closed her eyes. She could remember it like it happened yesterday: everything that happened since the day Lyceus died. Her life had gone through so many dramatic changes, and Ares definitely had a major part in it. She opened her eyes and looked up at the man in front of her. 'It's hard to believe that he's the same man who tempted me with the power to conquer the world or who try to reclaim me through power, greed, and lust. He looks so....broken up so...lonely so...........human.'

"Ares, I'm sorry." Ares turned his gaze away from the fire and looked at Xena.

"For what? If anyone should be apologizing, it should be me. After all the things I put you through."

"Yes, it should. But I didn't exactly give you the respect you deserved after you saved Eve and Gabrielle."

"You never asked for my help. I just did it."

"I know. That's why I should have given you a chance." Ares decided to get a little sarcastic.

"It's still not too late. How about that one-in-a-billion chance? Has it gotten any smaller?" This made Xena smile.

"I guess I can make it...........one-in-a-999 million." Ares grinned at her response.

"At least we're making progress maybe it'll be 500 million by the next moon."

"Hey, don't get too carried away." They both smiled at each other.

"You know Xena, I never thought this was possible."

"What was?"

"You and me just sitting and talking and laughing with no fights or battle plans trying to out-smart the other."

"I guess, in a way, we've both come a long way."

"Yeah, I guess we have." As they stared into each others' eyes, they're minds become flooded with memories. 

Ares was remembering the first time he saw Xena in battle. She was young, but extremely talented with great potential. Then Xena became his best warlord until she left him and headed out to sea. She did come back years later with more fire burning inside her. He used to think nothing was more beautiful and pleasing to the eye than seeing his chosen on the battlefield. But now, seeing her in a plain dress, sitting in front of him unarmed, he saw more beauty in her right now than in any battle. He realized that it's not the place or the clothes or what she's doing. It's the fact that she was in front of him, listening to his every word--he felt more connected to her than he ever had before.

Meanwhile, Xena was remembering different things. She recalled when she jumped in to aid those farmers six years.........'No', she told herself. 'It's so easy to forget. What seems like six years ago actually happened 31 years ago.' Images of her saving the farmers, being chased and jailed, and Ares trying to seduce her into leading his army all flashed through Xena's mind. It was the first time she saw Ares after she left him for the greater good. It would be a lie if she said she didn't feel drawn to him. It had felt so right standing next to him. In fact, she almost did go back to him, but something had stopped her from doing that. To this day, Xena didn't know what that "something" was, but she was glad it was there. 'Like Ares said, we would've never been able to have a warm fire-side chat if I had given into my darkness.' She then remembered the incident with her father and the Furies. Now that she thought back to it, it didn't seem so unforgivable. Yes, it was cruel and harassing, but it seemed that Ares had tried his hardest to atone for those things. 'Maybe it's just because I've been mortal my whole life, but eternity seems so grand and immense. I can't begin to imagine what it would be like to live for century after century. But he does, and he still threw all that away because......." She hears Ares' voice inside her head, "I have a thing for her."' Xena made a half smile, which did not go unnoticed by Ares. "Having pleasant thoughts there?" Xena was pulled back to reality.

"I guess you can say that."

"May I care to ask about what?"

"You........." Ares looked surprised by this sudden outburst.

"That was certainly unexpected."

"Well, life is full of surprises."

"Like the time you decided to fool all of Olympus into believing that you were dead?" Xena's smile faded away.

"I had no choice. They were going to kill my baby."

"Xena........I didn't mean to upset you. I just wanted to tell you that out of all the things I ever went through, I can never forget that moment." Now, Xena's face softened a little.

"Ares..............."

"Even now. I still sometimes wake up in the middle of the night and wonder if the whole 25-year sleep thing was just a dream--that you're still in that ice coffin sealed away in that cave."

"I still have trouble with the 25-year concept too."

"You do?"

"Yeah. I can remember having baby Eve in my arms like it was yesterday. But no, Eve's a grown woman now."

"Do you regret coming back?"

"No, at least this time my child got to grow up. Even though I couldn't be there and mom................she never got to be a normal grandmother."

"How's she doing?" Xena's face saddened again.

"I never told you, did I? Mom's gone.........she was accused as a witch and burned at the stake." Ares was surprised because he did not know this.

"Sorry, I had no idea. I stopped bothering with anything that reminded me of you. You made a bigger mark in my life than anyone else."

"Thanks Ares, but I'm ok now. Lyceus once told me that every person who dies becomes a star. They look over the loved one's they left behind. I know mom is watching over me."

"Wish I knew that......it would have made the past 25 years a little more bearable."

"Do you miss your family?"

"Maybe. I never really thought they'd ever be gone which actually annoyed me. Until Callisto killed Strife. Sure he was pesky and screwed up everything, but it kinda felt.......different after he was gone. In a way, I probably do miss all of them."

"Even Athena?"

"Now, let's not push it......" This lightens up the mood again as a small smile returned to their faces.

"Can I ask you something else?"

"Sure." Xena hesitated for a moment before she decided to drop it.

"It's about.........never mind, it's useless."

"Now is the mighty Warrior Princess shy?"

"Fine, it's about our marriage." Ares remembered his proposal he made to Xena after Hope and Gabrielle disappeared into that lava pit.

"Another one of my twisted plans....."

"I never figured out why you destroyed the contract. You had everything you had wanted for years."

"You know something, I didn't really know either except that it didn't feel right."

"Come on, you never cared about being right back then."

"Yeah well, I realized that I couldn't let Dahak have you. After that whole thing was over I was confused, and I had to sort out things."

"Is that why you left us alone for nearly a year?"

"It was that long?"

"Yeah. I figured you finally gave up."

"So you thought a lot about me?"

"Not in THAT kind of way. But yes, I did think about you and what happened between us."

"Ever consider being Mrs. Ex-God of War?" Xena didn't answer the question. She just stood up and extended her hand to Ares.

"Come on, we have an early morning tomorrow."

Ares took Xena's hand, and he noticed a small smile that Xena quickly hides.

"Hey, was that a smile I just saw?"

"What smile?"

"Don't try to hide it Xena. Looks like it just shrunk to 700 million."

"No. More like 998."

"So you admit it got smaller."

"Do you ever give up?"

"Never."

"Never is a long time."

"It doesn't have to be." That last comment startled Xena a bit. She remembered what she said to herself after Ares left on that hillside. The two exited the room into the hallway that lead to the bedroom. Ares' voice could be heard.

"This time you're sleeping in the middle." Xena responded in a sarcastic tone.

"If you can keep YOUR hands to yourself............"

"Well, I can't control what I do in my sleep can I?" The door to the bedroom creaked open and was quietly shut. The fire was dying out and the only things left were the two chairs facing each other. 

THE END


End file.
